The Eclipse, or How This Year Has Been

We recently had a total lunar supermoon eclipse. Did you see it?

I almost forgot to look. My husband was out of town again, caring for his very ill parents. I’d spent several hours slogging through bedtime with the kids, checked facebook to remind myself that there were other adults in the world doing other things, and saw lots of discussion of the eclipse; who could see it, who had cloud cover, wasn’t it stunning, weren’t we disappointed if we couldn’t see it. And I felt a little guilty, like it was something I should care about but couldn’t summon the feelings. It was 9:30 and I had a kitchen to clean and lunches to make.

But I went upstairs anyway, to the bedroom with the best view above the treetops, and there it was: the supermoon eclipse, in progress.

Eclipse1

Huh, I thought. That’s kind of neat that I got to see it.

I watched it for a while. It took longer than I expected, but I stayed, watching. And I felt sort of peaceful, watching this slow silent beautiful celestial thing.

Eclipse2

I began to think of it as a metaphor for this incredibly hard year for my family. How it has been, for us, one of the darkest. But we know that if we are patient the light will return to the sky, and to life, too.

So I watched the moon disappear, excited for its eventual return, for the sense of hope and renewal that the new light would bring.

Eclipse3

Eclipse4

And I stared into the darkness and waited. And waited.

Eclipse4

And waited.

And the light didn’t come back.

Eclipse4

The clouds must have moved in after all. And that, I realized, is the true metaphor for how this year has been. I’m focusing on one darkness and another sneaks in. I think I’ve identified The Crisis of the Day, and before bedtime another looms larger.

Eclipse4

That night, the night of the eclipse, I gave up and went to bed, the sky still dark. My 5:45 alarm was going off whether I stayed up staring at a black sky or not. I still had the kitchen to clean and lunches to make and children to convince to get on the school bus even though they will be tired.

I am fine because I have to be fine for the sake of the family. For this particular set of crises, that’s my role. I don’t always want to talk about it, because I’m so in it that what I want is an escape. I want light. I want to hear about the fun and interesting things you are doing with your time not spent at Urgent Care. I want to hear about your creative projects that don’t involve carving an urn.

Eclipse4

I hope that next year will bring more light.

Advertisements

About rbpepper

Rebecca is an artist, writer, and photographer with degrees in Theater and Social Work, and is currently a Stay at Home Mom to her three kids. Some part of her house is always a mess, she lets her kids paint on the table and design their own costumes, and she makes excellent allergen-free cookies. She lives with her equally creative husband and children in a part of Virginia known for being "pretty close to Dulles Airport", and dreams of moving to an old farmhouse in New England.
This entry was posted in Drawing, Family, Illustration and Design, Parenting, The Great Outdoors and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Eclipse, or How This Year Has Been

  1. Jesska says:

    *hugs* I hope next year will have more light for you too – it sounds like it was a tough time.

  2. Jesska says:

    And I thought the eclipse was pretty awesome 🙂 even though I had to get up at 3am to see it! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s