The (Imaginary) Great British Baking Show Judges Judge My Pies

IMAGINARY HOST

Rebecca chose to make two pies for this year’s Thanksgiving celebration. One will be a traditional pecan pie. The other will be an apple pie, also traditional, but decorated with scenes of dinosaurs.

illustration

(I BRING MY PIES TO THE JUDGING STATION)

two-pies

IMAGINARY PAUL

All right, what do we have here?

ME

Well, I chose to make two pies, because my dad is also making two pies, which means we’ll have four pies for eight people.

IMAGINARY PAUL

That seems reasonable. Go on.

ME

The first is a normal pecan pie, mostly because we didn’t get the idea to do something silly until finishing the second pie. (THE JUDGES GIVE ME SKEPTICAL LOOKS)

The second is an apple pie, featuring a design of dinosaurs attending a dinner together, but some of them are scared and running away, because they’re not sure whether the Tyrannosaurus Rexes are going to eat them.

close-up

The Tyrannosaurus Rexes are holding apples, in a show of peace and also to tell us what’s in the pie. I tried to draw on some features with a toothpick, but we’re not really sure what is in the hearts of those large carnivores, and so the herbivores are running away from them. That’s supposed to be a pterodactyl on top, flying away in fear.

MARY

Why did you decide to depict a scene on top of your pie at all?

ME

Well, baking without wheat as we do, it’s hard to get a pie crust to stay in one piece while I place it on top of the pie. So usually I cut out seasonal shapes with cookie cutters, and arrange those on top of the pie in an attractive manner. This year I wanted to use cookie cutters that belonged to my mother, and as soon as I opened her bin of cookie cutters, I knew which ones I had to use.

cookie-cutters

(LONG, UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT OF MARY STARING AT ME, AND PAUL LOOKING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN ME AND THE PIE, ME AND THE PIE.)

PAUL

I think it’s brilliant.

(I GRIN)

MARY

It’s a lovely tribute to your mother, a lovely way to make a pie, and a lovely way to get us all to think about dinosaurs and whether they really had apples so large in relationship to the size of a t-rex. I love it.

ME

Thank you!

MARY

We’re not going to cut into your pie to taste it, because I know you need to take it to your dad’s house. But if you’d like to cut into it on the way over and say that we did it, that’s perfectly fine.

ME

(BEAMING) Thank you.

(AND SCENE)

 

 

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About rbpepper

Rebecca is an artist, writer, and photographer with degrees in Theater and Social Work, and is currently a Stay at Home Mom to her three kids. Some part of her house is always a mess, she lets her kids paint on the table and design their own costumes, and she makes excellent allergen-free cookies. She lives with her equally creative husband and children in a part of Virginia known for being "pretty close to Dulles Airport", and dreams of moving to an old farmhouse in New England.
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